Schadenfreude Brought to You by Britney Spears

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Now that George W. Bush is no longer president and and able to provide his unique schadenfreude, my attention has shifted to America’s favorite pop tart, Britney Spears, and Brit-Brit doesn’t disappoint.

As 2009 draws to a close, here are some of my favorite Britney Spears quotes:

Britney performs…art?

“In the future, I will refrain from discussing my private life in interviews. It will be expressed solely through art.”

Britney manages to tie the death penalty to reincarnation.

“I am for the death penalty. Who commits terrible acts must get a fitting punishment. That way he learns the lesson for the next time.”

Britney lawyers up.

“Stuff like that, my lawyers know all that stuff.”

Britney talks mortality with her assistant.

“Felicia, what if we don’t see the ground when we land? And we just hit the ground? It’ll just scare me out of nowhere.”

Britney may want to consider rehab for her IQ.

“I’ve never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don’t like eating fish. And I know that’s very popular out there in Africa.”

Britney knows it’s always 8 o’clock someplace.

“I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada.”

Britney can think?

“Sundance is weird–you actually have to think about [the films] when you watch them”

Britney contemplates a role on Broadway.

“I would rather start out somewhere small, like London or England.”

I will close with a quote from Benjamin Franklin who once opined:

“We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid.”

This entry was posted in Britney Spears, Music, Popular Culture and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

15 Responses to Schadenfreude Brought to You by Britney Spears

  1. VicoDANIEL says:

    OMG! These are priceless!

    Don’t they have public schools in Louisiana? No wonder straight guys like Britney. She’s dumber than a blow-up doll and actually believes it when they tell her that cum is a weight loss tool.

    Thanks for the laugh.

    vicodaniel1987@yahoo.com

  2. Peace Nick says:

    ROFLMAO! These are too good.

  3. Rock says:

    They have public schools in the South. They make California’s school system look like Harvard at times, like when people can’t figure out 4,000 is a bigger number than 1,000.

  4. Abby Peripatetic says:

    Britney is the favorite of American tween age girls and horny Japanese businessmen.

    Her success is proof that in America, a pretty girl with very little talent and a dream, can become a millionaire with the help of an Auto-Tune machine and an ace marketing department.

  5. Mauigirl says:

    Those quotes are so pitiful they make W sound erudite in comparison.

  6. okjimm says:

    OK….. but she does seem a bit smarter than Glen Beck. Help me out, though, I tend to ignore pop culture… and I have heard the name… Who is Brittney Spears? and why is she famous? Did she run off with a republican senator or sumptin’?

  7. DMason says:

    Britney was born knowing what a stripper pole is and how to use one. She’s the poster child for what is wrong with our culture of celebrity. We elevate white trash to icon status and teenagers emulate them. A sad comment on America.

  8. JollyRoger says:

    Her success is proof that in America, a pretty girl with very little talent and a dream, can become a millionaire with the help of an Auto-Tune machine and an ace marketing department.

    You don’t have to be pretty, as long as you’re properly connected. Just ask Gwyneth Paltrow. I’ve seen trees that act better.

  9. Jim says:

    Wow! She’s brilliant!

  10. Walk on Socks says:

    “I’ve never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don’t like eating fish. And I know that’s very popular out there in Africa.”

    Hahahahaha!
    Hahahahahahaha!

    You can’t make it up. Brit Brit is a dope dope.

  11. Reamus says:

    And this is the woman that is idol to millions of ‘tweeners. I weep for their souls.

    Best,

    Reamus

  12. you knocking america again
    LOL

    she also thought bush was doing a good job – and btw, brittany has no talent – which means she should be on american idol

  13. Ted Blake says:

    there is no other singer like Britney Spears, she can dance well, sing well and she has a great stage performance.

  14. Ahh Britney Spears. Recently I’ve become a top fan and can never get too much information or comments about Britney’s appearances. Whether it is hair shaving, titillating videos, marriage failures or just another pop song there is a great deal occurring around Britney. Pity about the kids involvement but I suppose the money will assist them. The internet age is her opportunity for large earnings but will it be her ruin with way too much reporting and pressure. In fact I suppose that this blog entry and my remark are the same publicity I commented about.

  15. famoso_restaurant_chevy_chase_md says:

    “Folly loves the martyrdom of Fame.”

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