Ted Haggard Never Had “Sex Sex” with That Male Escort. Got It?

Wednesday, January 26, 2011


Ted Haggard, the disgraced former televangelist tells GQ Magazine we’ve got it all wrong. He never actually had sex sex with the male escort that led to the demise of his Bible-thumping career. Got it?

HAGGARD: “We never had sex sex,’ he says, glancing at the car to make sure that [his sons] Elliott and Jonathan are asleep. ‘I bought drugs and a massage from him, and he masturbated me at the end of it. That’s it.”

But Mike Jones, Haggard’s drug dealer and escort who ultimately exposed him, tells a different version of the events. “He can call it whatever he wants, but… please.”

And if your TMI appetite hasn’t been sated yet, Haggard, now 54, explains why he used meth in the first place.

HAGGARD: “You know, that’s really the core issue here,’ he continues, lowering his voice. ‘I bought the drugs to enhance masturbation. Because what crystal meth does—Mike taught me this—crystal meth makes it so you don’t ejaculate soon. So you can watch porn and masturbate for a long time.’ ‘And it would be gay porn?’ I ask. ‘It would be both. I enjoyed both then.’ ‘Do you watch porn anymore?’ ‘Now we’re getting into what should happen between me, my wife, and my therapist.'”

But Haggard has gained invaluable insight into the shame that is Christianity.

“I used to think the church was the light of the world,” but I’ve completely lost my faith in it.”

This entry was posted in Christianity, News, Religious Right, Ted Haggard and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to Ted Haggard Never Had “Sex Sex” with That Male Escort. Got It?

  1. Peace Nick says:

    Ted Haggard needs to stop talking.

    He needs to study Monica Lewinsky who hasn’t been seen or heard from in many years and has gotten on with her life.

  2. Randy Arroyo says:

    If memory serves, Ted Haggard admitted to having meth-fueled sex with this Mike Jones guy and even said he selected him from the trade ads because Jones advertised having a very large dick. Maybe Ted has done so many drugs that he can’t recall what he said and to whom?

  3. MichaelnotTchristian says:

    Hey ted, you Fag, Blow Jobs are sex…………

  4. Robbie says:

    What a mess Ted Haggard is. You either have sex or you do not have sex. There is no in between.

  5. Jim says:

    TMI!

  6. Jolly Roger says:

    Jesusistanis, get your stones ready! There’s a damn SODOMITE among you!

    Funny thing is, he used to hold the bag of stones.

  7. feminazi says:

    There’s something tragic about Ted Haggard. His is the burden of a highly conflicted, fundamentalist Christian, who went to drugs and promiscuity and yet, has a wife and family at home. It’s good he’s in therapy and has the support of his wife. Otherwise, people like this wind up committing suicide.

  8. Mets Fan says:

    Haggard’s wife is very supportive. I think most women would’ve said “See ya,” if they learned their husband was in a motel getting fucked in the ass by a male prostitute.

    If I were a betting man, I would bet Haggard comes out one day and just lives openly as a gay man.

  9. Brigadoon says:

    Haggard creeps me out. I think his wife should’ve kicked him to the curb and moved on. I know I would never tolerate this sort of thing from a spouse, be it with another man or a woman.

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