Naked Neighbor ‘Put me off men’

Saturday, September 5, 2009


Please meet the lovely Denise Woodage. Denise had the recent misfortune of being victimized by the sight of her neighbor, Paul Darlow, who enjoyed gardening and pleasuring himself in his backyard wearing nothing except for a pair of boots.

The 54-year-old Mrs. Woodage, who does not work, first saw the 53-year-old Darlow flashing his boy toys back in March 2008. She complained to police and they installed a CCTV. In November 2008, Darlow was captured on film exposing himself yet again and he was promptly arrested and charged with indecent exposure.

Darlow went to trial and was convicted of indecent exposure with intent to cause alarm or distress and will be jailed for six weeks.

But nothing compares to the trauma caused to poor Denise Woodage who now takes anti-depressants and who told the press:

“I didn’t even know his name when I first saw him but I was horrified. I couldn’t believe it. He looks younger than he is and he was well-endowed and really hairy. It has put me off men.”

Poll Question: What is your favorite kind of meat?

This entry was posted in International News, News, Strange Events and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

17 Responses to Naked Neighbor ‘Put me off men’

  1. Biker Guy says:

    ROFLMAO! You’re so damned sick!

    I don’t think Denise has anything to worry about when it comes to men. No one would touch her with Boy George’s dick.

  2. Philly D says:

    So she has a banger headed for her mouth?

    Priceless! Thanks for the laugh! 🙂

  3. feminazi says:

    Interesting how Denise couldn’t stop looking at the “well endowed and very hairy” neighbor? I do think she doth protest too loudly and enjoyed the image more than she cares to admit.

  4. JollyRoger says:

    People pay for freak shows all the time. She gets one for free, and she whines. Dog Almighty.

  5. Harry says:

    England is an island of eccentrics and oddities.

  6. Tiny Dancer says:

    I’m traumatized just looking at her picture.

  7. Jim says:

    Poor Ms. Darlow. Sausage, alas, is now off her menu.

  8. Jenna Bush Stole My ID says:

    Excuse me but I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.

  9. Walk on Socks says:

    If I had a young, well-hung neighbor next door in his yard pleasuring himself wearing only work boots I would never be able to leave to go to work.

    This cow called the cops on him? She’s whack.

  10. This sounds like a bad plot for a bad reality show.

  11. Kristin says:

    @JollyRancher LMAO! For Real

  12. bradfrmphnx says:

    Dear Denise,
    Your roots are showing. Brad

  13. Joe in Colorado says:

    Damn, Chris. I’m close to being put off women after seeing Denise. Seriously, if it came down to her or an attractive man, I think I would choose the man and I consider myself to be 100% heterosexual.

  14. Brigadoon says:

    I would’ve cut out a glory hole in the fence between our yards. Maybe sold tickets. Denise is an idiot and has serious problems that pre-dated seeing her hung neighbor’s pecker.

  15. Rob says:

    I’m with Joe on this one. This is crazy.

  16. libhomo says:

    If she was so offended, why did she install a CCTV to capture every moment.

  17. An AfroGuy in Brooklyn says:

    These overweight, middle aged white ladies all say they’re offended by a male joy stick.

    But in reality, a big humper is precisely what Denise needs to calm her ass down!

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