South Carolina First Lady Jenny Sanford Blames Gay Marriage for Her Failed Marriage

Wednesday, July 1, 2009


Jilted South Carolina First Lady Jenny Sanford blamed gay marriage for the reason her marriage to South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford failed.

Said First Lady Jenny Sanford:

“Of course I’m not saying that Mark is gay. But he may as well be.  The moral decay in this country has claimed another victim and this time it was my family.  Our marriage was perfect until these laws started passing around the country. Clearly the slow dissolution of the sanctity of marriage in America seeped into Mark’s psyche until he no longer felt compelled to abide by our vows.”

A social conservative in the Phyllis Schlafly mold, the South Carolina First Lady is vehemently antigay gay marriage and even oppose the separate but equal, civil unions.

I hate to break it to you Jenny but gay marriage isn’t the reason your marriage failed. The reason your husband cheated is he’s a scalawag and he’s unhappy at home. You might want to look in the mirror before deflecting responsibility to the gay community.

And to think, I actually once felt sorry for homophobic southern belle. No more.

This entry was posted in Gay Marriage, News, Politics, Religious Nutcases, Republican Lunatics, Rich Bitches, Southern Loon Watch and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

45 Responses to South Carolina First Lady Jenny Sanford Blames Gay Marriage for Her Failed Marriage

  1. Harry says:

    ROFL! Jenny better lose that number cuz’ she’s fucked up. Big time!

  2. Jenna Bush Stole My ID says:

    No wonder Mark Sanford strayed.

    Jenny Sanford has got to be a bitch on wheels to force her hubby to another continent to get away from her.

    She sounds like she really hate men. Maybe she’s a closet lesbian? Like Hillary Clinton?

  3. Robert Rouse says:

    No, it’s all of you gay people. If you weren’t around this world would be perfect! There would be no wars, no famine, no tornadoes, no hurricanes, no Chaz Bono, no infidelity, no intolerance, no poverty, no political strife, no bad television shows, and every team in the NFL would win the Super Bowl every year.

    You guys and gals should be ashamed of yourself. If it wasn’t for you, bigots and idiots wouldn’t have an emergency blame crutch to rely on.

  4. Tiny Dancer says:

    I’ve heard social conservatives theorize if gays have equal rights the fabric of society will break down and we will fall apart a society.

    Of course, this theory gives straight people a big, Ole’ “PASS” when it comes to taking responsibility got their sorry treatment of the institution of marriage.

    The gays aren’t the cause of 54% of marriage ending in divorce by the 5th year. Sorry but I’m not buying and I won’t let them get away with it.

  5. Brett says:

    What an idiot this piece of work is. You deserve what you got heffer!

  6. madhouse6 says:

    bat. shit. crazy. wow. that was amazing. jenny, sorry to say, but my right to marry has zero to do with your straight, conservative neo-con straying.

    look in your own glass house before you start casting stones lady.

  7. Bill Hussein O'Reilly says:

    J = Jackass
    E = Egghead
    N = Ninny
    N = Non-com
    Y = Yeasty

    S = Sack-O-Shit
    A = Asshole
    N = Ne’er-do-Well
    F = Fuckwit
    O = Odorous
    R = Rank
    D = Ditz

    Love ya’, Jenny!

  8. ShellyD says:

    It is important to note that the site you took the information from, The diSCust, is a satirical web site, like The Onion. The story ISN’T REAL.

  9. DMason says:

    Shelly doesn’t have a sense of humor. Come on everyone, awwwww. Either that or she agrees with the Wicked Witch from South Carolina?

  10. anon says:

    Jeeze, Jenna Bush Stole My ID, what have you got against lesbians? I’d take one over a conservative wingnut *any* day…

    I think I’m spraining something in my brain trying to make sense of what she’s said. Ow.

  11. retahyajyajav says:

    Great post, Christopher. I needed a laugh after I learned of Karl Malden’s passing. He was one of the best American actors.

    He left an amazing legacy.

    ShellyD is what’s known as a buzz kill. Humorless and a Debbie Downer.

  12. Big Hank says:

    ROFL! I think I once heard Tony Perkins say something very similar to this. Or, was it Jack Van Imp? Or Gary Bauer? Or Jerry Falwell? They all begin to run together, you know.

  13. Rachel says:

    I once heard Joyce Mayer ask for a donation and then go onto say homosexuality is the cause of headaches, depression, stomach problems, and drug addiction. I honestly thought she was part of the Westboro Baptist Church. Only later did I learn, she’s just got her own moneymaking operation up and running and people believe this shit..

  14. I actually felt sorry for Jenny Sanford, right up until I read this shit. She got exactly what she heard. It’s no wonder her husband had to go all the way to Argentina to find a lover. I hope all four of her kids grow up to be big flaming queers.

  15. lea-lea says:

    This is a riot, Christopher!

    You know, for all the gay-bashing and religious lunacy in their home, Phyllis Schlafly managed to produce a gay son. Ah, the irony! The humanity!

    After he came out, old Phyllis kind of disappeared from the winger circus.

  16. Well I’m a little unclear on how a group of people wanting to live in committed relationships are causing people currently in “Committed” relationships to cheat. She just doesn’t want to admit that he is no longer attracted to her. It’s unfortunate that she is trying to blame others for her husband’s failures because she has gone from a victim to just another Christian bitch.

  17. Blobby says:

    Fuck. I was giving her the credit of the family for being the upstanding one of kicking her husband to the curb.

    What a bitch.

  18. Robert Rouse says:

    By the way, ShellyD, the story is NOT from the Onion. I found it on a South Carolina news site called The

  19. Prairiedog says:

    I’m waiting for one of these nut jobs to blame the gays for climate change.

    God’s wrath! Oh no, duck!

  20. Conejo1982 says:

    I don’t know if this is true but I read Jenny Sanford has a very serious eating disorder.

    She’s one of those hoity-toity society women who “tastes but doesn’t eat” and exercises all the time to stay thin. Living with her must be a joy. I bet she won’t even swallow Mark’s spunk because it throws off her diet.

  21. I’ve read that she did not really say this. Rather, this was an exercise in satire by some unknown writer.

  22. .
    Nice spinning, Jenny!

    Boy, I didn’t think there was any way the ‘Pukes could score points on THIS mess. But look at her go! I’m thinking 2012, here folks! Hot GILF on GWIWLF action at the Superdome, or wherever Republicon is held next time. TWO Jesus-chicks Jello-wrestling for the nomination! I’m thinking it’ll be less well attended than a Comic-Con. But funnier.

    From now on, that’ll be their slogan, their answer to all problems: Global warming, national healthcare, homeless, the war: “IT’S TEH GAIIS!!” Great bumper-sticker material. I’m sure it’ll play in the South. And it’ll give us a bluer majority in Congress.

  23. rckweho1981 says:

    Why are all these people worried about protecting the First Lady of South Carolina?

    She’s a homophobe, antigay marriage and a religious extremist. Maybe it’s a gender thing?

  24. bradfrmphnx says:

    Funny shit. What’s even funnier is that this would actually be something we might expect to hear from that crowd.

  25. taco says:

    I bet she won’t even swallow Mark’s spunk because it throws off her diet.

    ROFL. I haven’t heard that expression in years!

  26. JollyRoger says:

    I suspect she’s a drunken “kept woman” in the Pickles Bush mold. Her kind will tolerate endless infidelities as long as they continue to get to keep their status and bling.

  27. Something to me just doesn’t make sense.If she’s so anti-Gay why is she standing in the photo with the diversity flag behind her ?

  28. TOM339 says:

    Too funny.

    You must have put this up late in the day because I don’t remember seeing it in the morning.

    Maybe Sarah Palin will blame the gays for her tramp daughter Bristol and the child she had with her boyfriend before the pair even graduated from high school?

    Nothing sexes up the straights like the mental image of two men or two women getting it on!!

  29. feminazi says:

    I’m with Tom339. I was away yesterday so I missed all the fun. I think Mark Sanford, like many men of a certain age, is having a midlife crisis. They see their manhood slipping away so they want one more fling before they get old. His wife sounds like a real bitch on wheels.

  30. Terry says:

    It was his erect penis that caused him to stray.

  31. Rory says:

    Please update your post to include that the quote from Jenny Sanford is not true. This is spreading on the internet with your post as the link. The article you got this from is a satirical one.

  32. Rory,

    If you had bothered to click the hyperlink I used as a reference source before you started pounding on your keyboard and instructing me how to run my Blog, you would have seen I linked to the website called

    Are you a friend of the South Carolina First Lady or just a busy body?

    My readers might be interested in knowing Rory is so worried about protecting Jenny Sanford’s reputation in the blogoshere that she even made a point of emailing me. Here’s her letter:

    Jenny Sanford quote is from satirical article
    Thursday, July 2, 2009 12:34 PM
    From: Rory O’Malley
    This sender is DomainKeys verified
    “Rory O’Malley”
    Add sender to Contacts
    Hey there-
    Wanted to make sure you knew the quote from Jenny Sanford is not true. This is spreading on the internet with your post as the link. The article you got this from is a satirical one.
    This is how the online paper describes themselves-

    “it’s supposed to be funny and entertaining an occasionally provoke some thinking. It’s called satire. Some pieces hit the mark better than others, but everyone has their own sense of humor. Hopefully there’s enough variety that everyone can find something they like.”


  33. Hey Gang,

    I received yet another Jenny Sanford supporter worried about protecting her reputation from the big meanies in the Reality Based Community.

    Here’s one from Andrew:

    jenny sanford story
    Wednesday, July 1, 2009 11:38 PM
    This sender is DomainKeys verified
    “Andrew Blankemeyer
    Add sender to Contacts
    so please tell me you realize that is a parody news site regarding the jenny sanford story. i’m all for jumping all over the hypocrites, but no need to get everyone riled up over what’s basically an story.

    thx, andrew

  34. Walk on Socks says:

    Christopher –

    You’re actually getting emails from Jenny Sanford’s friends and supporters defending her? This is a riot.

    These people need to get a life and get over it.

  35. Adirondacky says:

    You actually have Friends of Jenny emailing you because they’re worried about how she’s being portrayed? Like Socks said, people need to get a life or a hobby. Maybe a goldfish? Speaking of Mark Sanford, did you see the Huffington piece about the growing number of people who think he’s lost his mind and is no longer capable of carrying out the duties of the job?

  36. Walk on Socks, Adirondacky –

    Try six emails. Now Rory is claiming to be a pro-gay marriage equality male living in Manhattan.

    I’ll keep you guys posted if I receive any more communications from this oddball.

  37. Robert Rouse says:

    Christopher, here’s the way I see it. Yes, it is a satirical web site. Yes, the story is satire. So friggin’ what. The whole point is that humor is at its bets when it comes closest to the truth, and the truth is that many Neocons and Religious conservatives tend to place blame on their own failings on someone else. It’s sort of their version of Flip Wilson’s “the Devil made me do it.” Gays, gay marriage, liberal politics, universal health care, marijuana, and Barbra Streisand are behind all the woes in this country – and if you believe that, I have a Senate seat I can sell you real cheap.

  38. Robert Rouse says:

    that should read, “humor is at its best”, not bets.

  39. Andrew says:

    dangit…I knew I was going to leave something out.

    In response to Adam’s suggestion that this blogger show a little integrity and take the post down, I’ve always felt that was cheating a bit.

    What I think would be more appropriate is a posting stating he made a mistake presenting an article from a satirical website as actual fact.


  40. Andrew,

    I have an idea for you.

    If you object to me or my Blog, why not leave and start your own Blog? It’s easy to criticize when you have no clue what you’re talking about.

    So I trust, this is will be the last we see of you.

  41. Stephan Iversonn says:

    I’m not accustomed to seeing many trolls loitering here.

    I guess defending Jenny Sanford’s honor brought a few out from under their logs.

  42. If you insist, Adam.

  43. Dan says:

    Just an FYI, it was satire, she actually didn’t say that.

  44. Travis says:

    you got to be kidding me!?!, people will blame their troubles on anything, She’s just makeing an excuse to not admit the fact that most people who are against gay marrage are just afraid of change.

  45. Adirondacky says:

    Dan. Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan? How many of Jenny’s Warriors are going to post here to remind people this is a satirical link? Don’t these nitwits click the link provided? Sheeesh!

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