Speaker Botox Don’t Eat No Stinkin’ Jello


The Democratic Congress is back and Speaker Botox, AKA, Nancy Pelosi, has embarked on an ambitious agenda. Her first order of business isn’t the Iraq war, or the recessionary economy, or fixing the subprime mortgage meltdown.

No, Speaker Botox’s top priority is transforming the U.S. Capitol cafeteria into a 5-star, gourmet eatery serving haute cuisine for all the hardworking members of Congress.

Gone is the plebian jello, processed cheese and meatloaf. In their place is fresh fruit, brie and mahi mahi. Even the vending machines have gotten the royal Pelosi touch. Coffee machines will now dispense fancy Wolfgang Puck brews such as “Vive la Crème Caramel” and “Tropic of Chocolate.” 

Not everyone in the Congress is thrilled with Speaker Botox’s makeover. One House aide said in an email, “I really don’t like Nanny Nancy telling me what I can and cannot eat for lunch. If I want to eat unhealthy, I should have that choice!”

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28 Responses to Speaker Botox Don’t Eat No Stinkin’ Jello

  1. feminazi says:

    Aw, poor Nancy. It must be very difficult for her to muck in with the regular folks and eat normal food when she’s accustomed to swilling down cavier and goose pate, when 95% of Americans eat McDonalds and Taco Bell. What an elitist cow.

  2. TOM339 says:

    This is a perfect example of why the American people hate their government and hold them in contempt.

    If Pelosi can’t find anything more important to do with her tenure as House Speaker than bring hoity-toity food to the Capitol dining room, then she should resign.

    The country is going down the tubes and this is all she is interested in? Pelosi can go fuck herself.

  3. Winnie H. says:

    Whatever happened to…

    ….There’s always room for Jello?

  4. Aimee says:

    RYC: About Obama not running in the Michigan Primary. The Democratic Party didn’t take him off, he took himself off because Michigan’s primary is illegal and does not count. Michigan does not get any delegates at the Democratic convention. Hillary stayed on because she chose to. But on or off the outcome does not matter.
    Many of us are voting in the Republican Primary today. Not to fight Hillary, but to have a vote that actually counts. Many are voting undeclared in case we have a caucus later that would be able to send delegates. I am voting Republican, for Ron Paul. I would never vote for Mitt, he might actually win here as this is is home state.

  5. Harry says:

    I guess Pelosi’s idea of torture is being forced to eat Spam and pork rinds, washed down with Fresca. Life’s tough when you’re a princess.

  6. Brigadoon says:

    Let them eat cake. And jello and meatloaf. This broad is really starting to piss me off. She wasn’t elected to turn the Capitol into the Palace of Versailles. Pelosi is a public servant and not a member of the British royals. Why don’t the voters of San Francisco recall this witch?

  7. joost says:

    Nancy Pelosi is utterly and completely useless.

    She wasn’t sent to the leadership position to make sure the Congress eats like new world order elites.

    Who is paying for this Manhattan/Westside LA menu change? I can tell you — the American taxpayers, that’s who.

    This dame needs to be strung up on a flagpole.

  8. Harry says:

    I like jello. I guess that makes me hopelessly middleclass and suburban.

  9. Matteo says:

    Someone needs to sit this dumb-cluck down and explain to her that the eating habits of the Congress don’t matter.

    The DOW fell 277 points today from news of a looming recession.

    Weak economic news and a disappointing quarterly report from Citigroup Inc. signaled that Wall Street’s worries about the economy are likely to continue unassuaged.

    Investors backed off stocks amid growing concerns that consumer spending will wane this year, contributing to an economic downturn. The latest evidence that consumers are retrenching came from the Commerce Department, which reported retail sales fell in December and revised its November figures lower.

    Spending by consumers, which accounts for more than two-thirds of U.S. economic activity, has been key to staving off economic slowdowns in recent years.


  10. hmmm ok…and whose tab is this gourmet feast on ..

    and doesn’t that chick know that jello is good for nails. This is a disgusting story. Where the hell are those people’s heads at. We got people going hungry , and you know this could be a long list of people happy to have mac and cheese to be able to feed their kids with..etc.

    Damn these people – we so so need to clean house. And she needs to be replaced with a populist democrat YESTERDAY.

  11. off topic ..but i am watching msnbc today u know michigan and such and that closet cares David Drier is touting Ghouliani ! and the Neo con fear card..Some one really needs to out that dude. All i can compare him with is “jewish nazi” its only sort of topic in the sense that is is another level of damn these people, as i am sure David’s tastes are quite aristocratic …shame on all of them !

  12. *closet case (who doesn’t care) sorry about the typo above.

  13. Larry says:

    What a relief it is to know that as Pelosi continues to sell out America in the halls of congress, she will still have that lavish cuisine that her taste buds of wealth are accustomed.

    Good one Christopher!

  14. emjizzle says:

    One-in-five children in the US go to sleep hungry.

    Pelosi claims to be the champion of children. It’s good to know she and her pals in the Congress will dine on Mahi Mahi while poor kids in this shitty nation will eat macaroni cheese if they’re lucky.

    Fuck you, Nancy. Fuck you.

  15. enigma4ever says:

    9 Million Children living in Poverty, and she is worried about Jello and Mac&Cheese….maybe we should write to her and ask that the Throwouts be given to the nearest FoodBank…..

    ( and MAYBE they should be given just a simple Soup Kitchen- like the rest of us…)

  16. Woodcliffe says:

    Unfortunately, this doesn’t surprise me…

    I know a staffer for another Democratic member of the US House and she told me a number of interesting stories about Nancy Pelosi.

    Evidently, Pelosi is considered something of a joke on the Hill. She’s not terribly bright and she hasn’t inspired confidence among House representatives. Most feel abandoned by her and think she is far more interested in hosting dinners for foreign leaders than she is challenging the president and passing legislation that has merit and value to the American people.

    It’s frustrating to those of us who initially supported her and believed after 12 years of GOP rule, things would changed in Washington with the election of a Democratic speaker.

    We were duped.

  17. Joe in Colorado says:

    This stupid socialite couldn’t get 60 votes to stop the funding for the Iraq war but she could wave her magic wand and get her buddies in the Congress fancy chow. Just more proof that you don’t actually have to be smart to be elected to government.

  18. Unruly Rocker says:

    Scary picture of a scary woman.

  19. Sasha in MN says:

    Didn’t Congress just give themselves a $4,000 pay raise? I’m glad they’re concerned enough to make sure they have money left over to tip.

  20. California Dreamin' says:

    Blame the late Sela Burton.

    Pelosi had told her supporters she was planning to retire from politics many years ago, then Sela Burton, the wife of the late Phil Burton died and she saw a vacancy and an opportunity.

    San Francisco should have its collective heads examined for electing and reelecting this pro-corporate elitist.

  21. Jim says:

    And judging from this photo, Nanc has discovered a new use for lime jello!

  22. While I certainly don’t think of my taste as pedestrian, somehow I doubt congress was being served PB&Js. What the hell is Pelosi’s problem? Anyone who’s been to D.C. can attest to the fact that a Starbucks Grande cup in hand seems to be a local ordinance. What ever happened to congressmen having to walk a block for 5 star dining? That’s the only exercise they get. Does this mean Pelosi is not taking the health concerns of her members seriously?

  23. that picture is so, so Pelosi!

    i guess jello-gate is a higher priority than steroid-gate that i wrote about


  24. Larry says:

    Pelosi can’t get a good slab of caviar at those primitive cafeterias so she is taking care of the rich, like she does with all her policy decisions.

  25. FranIAm says:

    We are lost as a nation. It is all just downhill when you read something like this…

  26. feminazi says:

    I had a packet of instant oat meal and a cup of coffee this morning for breakfast. Best to not tell Speaker Botox or she might vomit. Hehehehehe!

  27. Christopher says:

    These are great comments.

    I’m delighted you all appreciated the outrage of the House’s royal Queen and her idiocy during wartimes.

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