Toxic BP CEO Tony “I want my life back” Hayward Retreats to Britain

Friday, June 4, 2010


BP’s Tony Hayward, arguably the most toxic CEO in corporate history, has retreated to where from whence he came — the safety of that island nation called Britain, handing responsibility for the leaking well and clean-up to Bob Dudley.

Dudley, a U.S. citizen, has been looking for a new role at BP ever since he was tossed out of Moscow in a battle with the Russian shareholders of the TNK-BP joint venture in the middle of 2008.

Hayward issued a pithy and delusional statement regarding his sudden departure:

“Everyone at BP is heartbroken by this event, by the loss of life and by the damage to the environment and to the livelihoods of the people of the Gulf coast. It should not have happened and we are bound and determined to learn every lesson to try and ensure it never happens again. We will stand by our obligations. We will halt this spill and put right the damage that has been done. We will rebuild the confidence of the American people and the world in BP.”

Don’t bet the pork pie on it, pal.

Here’s a few examples of Tony Hayward’s verbal diarrhea to remember him by:

“This was not our accident. This was Transocean’s rig. Their systems. Their people. Their equipment.”

“The Gulf of Mexico is a big ocean. The amount of oil and dispersant we are putting into it is tiny in relation to the total water volume.”

“No one wants this over more than I do. I would like my life back.”

“So far I’m unscathed. Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.”

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11 Responses to Toxic BP CEO Tony “I want my life back” Hayward Retreats to Britain

  1. Greg Equality Lengkong says:

    Tony Hayward should be dropped in boiling oil and cooked alive. He is unworthy of life.

  2. Conejo1982 says:

    Hayward can run but he can’t hide.

    If the oil reaches the Loop Current and travels up along the east coast and into the Atlantic, those vile tar balls of oil will begin showing up on beaches in the UK.

    I wonder where he will run to then?

  3. bradfrmphnx says:

    When the going gets tough, Hayward heads home. I’m just surprised he lasted this long. But then, I’m sure he must follow the script.

  4. Randy Arroyo says:

    Hayward is a fancy pants. A corporate upper crust swell, who shows up to a crime scene with his pretty boy British locks, fluffed and curled, and slightly annoyed to be forced to have to deal with working class Americans who live and die by the tides of the Gulf of Mexico. Go fuck yourself, Hayward.

  5. ZarathustraMike says:

    I’d take him up in a Helicopter, fly him out to the middle of the spill and drop him in……. to help save a few birds!

  6. fran says:

    Old Haywire Hayward was kirking out. They probably felt like he was a fricking powderkeg about to blow at any minute. (Just like the Deepwater Horizon oil well itself!)
    I bet they thought he was a liability, firing his yap off. I’m guessing legal ordered him to take a mandatory vacation.

  7. Jack Varney says:

    A few weeks ago, Hayward made a rare appearance on Gran Isle flanked by reporters, BP suits and a team of security people who looked a lot like Secret Service agents.

    He looked and sounded mighty prepared — like he was reading from a teleprompter. But, on Gran Isle, there are no teleprompters. Turns out, Hayward had just looked at his Blackberry and took his comments directly from there.

    When a few shrimpers and fishermen tried to talk to him, his security detail surrounded him and whisked him away like he was Dick Cheney. The “little people” are a nuisance to Tony Hayward. I’m sure he was all too happy to get back to his country estate in Surrey.

  8. VicoDANIEL says:

    The sight of those poor animals dying a slow death in BP’s oil, pushed me completely over the top with Tony Hayward.

    Who the fuck does he think he is telling people in his press release that he’s returning to the UK to escape the “anti-British feelings” he experienced in the USA?

    I haven’t detected any “anti-British” sentiments in people I talk to about the oil spill. However, I have detected much anti-BP sentiment. Two very different sides of the coin.

    Personally, I would like to see Tony Hayward dropped into the petroleum muh off the coast of Louisiana. The image of him drowning in the filth his employer is responsible for would make my day.

    vicodaniel1987@yahoo.com

  9. fran says:

    Oh & by the way, this riser cap scheme does not appear to be looking all that successful. The live gusher cam camera angle is positioned as such to not show what is billowing out from the bottom of the cap.
    Sickening to see the shoreline & wildlife mired in the muck.

  10. Harry says:

    Fran is spot on: the cap isn’t working. I think Hayward left town because activists from Greenpeace pledged to make a citizens arrest.

  11. Pingback: A BP Potpourri: Legal Links and Updates « Attorneys Directory

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